We are all created with an innate ability to possess sexual desires. These sexual desires are not wrong in itself so long as they are expressed within the bounds and limits set by God. According to the Bible the only proper relationship within which human sexuality is to be expressed and enjoyed is the marriage bond and any inappropriate expression of sexuality is termed as ‘sexual immorality’.

The injunctions against any kind of sexual immorality is abundantly clear in the direct prohibition that apostle Paul makes in 1 Cor. 6:18-20, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Along with this is the clear instruction against committing adultery in the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20:14) and the command to keep the marriage relationship holy by not engaging in any sexual activity outside of marriage: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." (Heb.13:4).

Putting all this together it is quite clear that any expression of sexuality outside the confines of a marriage relationship is termed as ‘adultery’ by the Scripture and condemned as sin. There would be some who might argue that it is only when sexual intercourse takes place that it could be termed as adultery and consequently anything less is not as serious. However, going by the principle that is time and again reiterated in the Bible, it is primarily the intentions and motivations of the heart that matter and not just the presence or absence of corresponding external actions. Jesus Himself makes it very clear that lust in the heart is enough to convict a person of the sin of adultery - "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt. 5:28)." If we are to base the definition of adultery on this principle then it is fairly clear that it is not just sexual intercourse with a person who is not his or her lawful partner but any intimate act with such a person would be termed as adultery.

It would be simplistic to assume that adultery is a modern phenomenon, for we find the commandment against this sin in the Ten Commandments itself. However it would not be wrong to say that our contemporary lifestyle provides us greater avenues and opportunities to indulge in sexually immoral behavior if we so desire. An immediate situation that comes to mind is that of the close proximity that people of opposite sexes are put into at the workplace for long hours. Added to this is the general increase in the frequency of interaction between men and women compared to one or two generations earlier. All these factors put together increase the potential and opportunities for extramarital affairs and hence the issue of sexual immorality becomes even more relevant for people in our generation.

Nowadays, we generally have this tendency; to assume that Christians are somehow immune to sexual temptations and that sexual sins are something that only ‘other terrible sinners’ commit. Even when we accept the fact that we are all weak and prone to various sins, we are very reluctant to admit that Christians too could fall prey to sexual temptations and end up in sexual immorality. At the most we admit that such things happen only in the ‘West’ but never in a place like India. However, the very fact that scripture makes such frequent mention of sexual sins and injunctions to avoid it is a pointer that the issue of sexual immorality was not just a problem in the Corinthian church but is a problem for all generations and at all places.

So what should be the best way to avoid such problems?

A good place to start would be to acknowledge that we are all vulnerable when it comes to issues of sexuality. The way the human body responds to the opposite sex is fundamentally the same for all. Even though there might be some differences between different people and due to differences in age, the fact remains that the human biological response remains pretty much the same irrespective of the fact whether we are believers or not or even whether we are spiritual or not. Now this might be surprising to some who would have been accustomed to think that once we are saved we somehow become immune to such vulnerabilities. Such an idea is integrally connected with a negative view of sexuality where anything associated with sex is considered bad or at least not good.

A more biblical view accepts the fact that sexuality is basic to our human nature and meant to be enjoyed. However, because of our fallen nature we are prone to misdirect / misuse or abuse this capacity. So, the weakness lies not in being sexual but in the inherent fallen-ness that we all share which puts us in a vulnerable position in the exercise of our sexual capabilities. It is this acknowledgment that is empowering because in accepting our weakness we become more aware of the areas in which we all could slip and end up in sin.

In the context of a marriage, it would do well to remember that just being married does not exclude the possibility that a person will not face sexual temptation. It is in this area that our churches could play a much larger role than they are playing at the moment. It is highly unlikely that we hear any issues of sexuality being addressed in our churches other than the brief references to the command against adultery or other sexual immorality. Particularly in India, we are extremely reluctant to talk about anything related to sexuality and in most cases the church projects an image that we are beyond such petty things. However, the rising rate of divorces and marital conflicts even in Christian marriages paint a picture to the contrary. It would be ideal for the church to take a much more productive and helpful approach and acknowledge that sexuality is a huge issue for many people and actively provide help to those in need. But to do this the church as a whole, beginning with its leaders, must learn to speak about issues that are uncomfortable.

Moving further, it has generally been observed that almost all extramarital affairs are not brought in just because of the presence of an external sexual temptation or in some case might have nothing to do with sex at all. In fact on closer examination it could be found that the seeds of most extramarital affairs were sown at home itself. Many extramarital affairs are evidences of lack of or absence of intimacy between spouses.

It is easy to assume that once a man and woman are married they will move on smoothly with life and everything will be fine. But the truth is far from this picture. Marriage requires, probably more then any other relationship, an active commitment on the part of both the man and the woman to make it work. The couple has to work on all aspects of their relationship and a shared intimacy is one of the most important ingredients of a successful marriage. It is when this vital component is missing one or both the spouses begin to seek for intimacy or emotional support outside of the marriage. It is at this stage that the person is most vulnerable to fall into the trap of an extramarital relationship which could culminate in adultery.

Sexually immoral behavior is a serious sin and the Bible is categorical about its seriousness. This is viewed gravely when sexual immorality is practiced while a person is within the bonds of marriage because it is a breach of trust against the spouse and an act of treachery. Considering the seriousness of the act and the incalculable hurt it causes the spouse it is vitally important that we take all efforts to guard ourselves from the possibility of such behavior. No doubt the Bible uses the metaphor of an adulterous spouse repeatedly to portray Israel who deal treacherously with God and are not faithful to the covenant.

Dear Reader, may we pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus and to keep us pure in His eyes and in our own eyes.